Pak Lah tests Najib's Intelligence

Pak Lah was so disappointed with his cabinet for being inefficient and corrupt that he decided to call on Lee Hsien Loong and ask him how he managed to have such an efficient and incorruptible cabinet.
On hearing Pak Lah's woes, PM Lee said, "Simple, Pak Lah, I choose able men for my cabinet." Pak Lah asked, "Yes, but how do you know that they are able?"
PM Lee replied, "Just ask them simple questions to test their intelligence, don't need to be too difficult. Let me illustrate to you." Just then, Tony Tan was walking by, PM Lee called out to him, "Hey Tony, come over here." Tony obediently walked briskly over.
PM Lee asked, "Tell me, Tony, who is your fathers son ?" Tony Tan immediately replied, "Me! Of course."
PM Lee turned to Pak Lah and said, "See, all my ministers can answer this question. Why don't you go back and try." Pak Lah thank PM Lee and left.
Once he was back, he immediately summoned Najib, his deputy, and shot the question at him, "Tell me, Najib, who is your father's son ?" Najib was shocked beyond words and did not know the answer. After a while, he recovered and said, "Boss, let me find out and I'll tell you tomorrow." Pak Lah, a bit disappointed, agreed, hoping that Najib will give a good answer tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Najib was panicking that his boss was testing him. He tried desperately to find out the answer from his staff, but none of them knew the answer. The next morning, he decided to call George Bush for help. Surely the most powerful person in the world must know the answer.
When Bush picked up the phone, Najib said, "Hello, Bush, can I ask you a question?" Bush, very busy, replied, "Alright, but it better be good !" Najib quickly asked, "Tell me, Bush, who is your father's son ?" Bush was fuming, "Of course it's me, you stupid !" and he slammed the phone down.
Satisfied that he's got the answer, he confidently walked into Pak Lah's office and said, "Boss, I've got the answer to your question." Pak Lah, happy that his deputy wasn't that dumb, said, "So tell me quick, who is your fathers son, Najib ?"
Najib confidently replied, "It's George Bush !"
Pak Lah slapped his own forehead in disgust and said, "No you stupid, it's TONY TAN !"

BBC Interview with Msia Foreign Minister

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsa/n5ctrl/progs/07/hardtalk/albar13sep.ram

Anwar's Interview in Business World India: You Cannot Treat India as a Supplement to China

Malaysia's former Deputy Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim is on the comeback trail. He is preparing for elections in 2009 by crisscrossing his country to bolster the ranks of his Keadilan Party. But Ibrahim suspects that Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi may advance elections to 2008 to keep him out. He cannot hold public office until June next year because of a court order. He spoke with BW's Dinesh Narayanan while on a private visit to India recently.

Excerpts:

Business World: How smooth do you think your comeback will be?

Anwar: It is not easy. The system is not free. Elections are not fair. And there is no free media. Judiciary is not independent. How do you vote for the democratic process to change? But I think we can (come back to power).

Businss World: Do you believe your party has a base big enough to get you elected?

Anwar: Yes. But the media is not portraying it that way. I spend a lot of time -- six days a week -- in the districts. I go from village to village, district to district. I am quite optimistic. It is not going to be easy when you are dealing with politicians with billions of dollars and the entire machinery of the media at their disposal. But I think we will make a major impact.

Business World: You were identified with western institutions such as the World Bank and the IMF in the 1990s. Do you believe that the policies you followed then are valid now, especially since the two institutions' policy prescriptions for developing countries have been drawing a lot of flak?

Anwar: It depends on who you talk to. Mahathir told Muslims that I am a Jewish agent and to the Americans that I am a Muslim extremist. I cannot be both. Now, the son-in-law of the prime minister calls me a Jewish agent as well as an American agent, a traitor to the Malays, and that I am appeasing both Indian and Chinese interests. So, he said he will hound me. I rebutted with an Elvis Presley song, 'You ain't nothing but a hound dog'.
Factually, I was the chairman of the development committee of the World Bank and the IMF. I was instrumental in the regime of James Wolfensohn and Gordon Brown in the debt conciliation programme for highly indebted countries. When I was the finance minister, I had publicly said in Jakarta that when disbursing funds, we couldn't impose conditionalities that cause hardships to people. In 1991, we had a deficit budget ; in 1992, a balanced budget and; in 1993 a surplus one. The moment we became surplus, I ceased taking funding from the bank. It is on record. By 1998, I was in jail and, in 1999, Mahathir went back to the bank for funds. But publicly, he is anti-World Bank and I am pro-World Bank. It is not correct to say that I subscribed to the IMF and the World Bank policies. What did I subscribe to? Governance, yes. Anti-corruption laws, yes. Actually, I used the opportunity to tighten the screws on governance, policies, open tenders, and disciplining the banks. What's wrong with that? Can only the IMF talk about anti-corruption? Why can't we talk about anti-corruption?

Business World: What would be your economic agenda if you come back to power?

Anwar: I would strongly pursue market economy, market-friendly policies. No question about that. I would tackle issues such as poverty and employment through public education and public housing, which are very critical. Because I see that market-friendly government policies tend to neglect or defer the social agenda. I think they should be together. Malaysia has lost its competitiveness -- from No 17 in the 1990s to 50 now. We have lost FDI -- from No 1 in Asean to No 5. I would also change the obsolete policy of favouring the Malays. Because, on the pretext of helping the Malays, what they did was to enrich their cronies. Millions of privatisation contracts went to the prime minister's cronies. Abdullah gave a 3 billion-ringitt Petronas contract to his son. Najib took half a billion to give a contract to somebody else and millions to buy Sukhoi jets from Russia. They call it commission, legitimate commission, I call it corruption.

Business World: Where will you find money to fund your policies? Public education and housing will cost a lot.

Anwar: If you contain the wastage through corruption in mega projects, you can raise a few billion. If you take the 3 billion that Abdullah gave his son and the others, you save a few billions more. The profit of Petronas alone is 70 billion ringgits. Let's say, tomorrow, we reduce petroleum prices and its revenues become 60 billion. If we spend 10 billion on poverty alleviation and another 10 billion on education, we still have an excess of 30 (sic) billion. That is just Petronas alone. Malaysia is not a poor country.

Business World: In the context of Asean and South Asian politics, what will be your approach to other countries, especially China and India?

Anwar: First, I am a firm believer in increasing collaboration within Asean. Any difficulty in the coalition will not be in the interest of Malaysians and Singaporeans. Our development in the south will depend on the confidence that Singapore has. Vis-à-vis India, it is very important. I think if we look forward to an Asian summit, there is no reason why India should not be there. Not because I have a bias towards India but because it is part of Asia. It is an important economy. And it has a democratic process. We should continue the advanced relations with China, but you can't treat India as a supplement. It should be part of the core.

Business World: Do you share Japanese premier Shinzo Abe's vision of an 'arc of freedom and prosperity across Asia and the Pacific'?

Anwar: Yes, I think it comes under the Asian formation. He just used a different term.

Business World: But the way he said it, I think the arc stopped short of China.

Anwar: Yes, that's true. He did not actually spell it out. I was looking into the subtext. It was not really spelt out. His was a clever sort of play on words. I don't think it makes sense. There is no way you can ignore China. Mahathir took the other extreme -- China included and India on the periphery. It doesn't make sense. If there can be a NAFTA and an EU, why can't we have an Asian coalition?

Business World: So, you favour free trade within Asia?

Anwar: Yes. I said publicly during the East Asian summit in Kuala Lumpur that we should not be tied down by the obsolete thinking of Mahathir and should call it an Asian summit. Even Australia and New Zealand are part of Asia. They are whites, all right. But as much as you don't want Americans to be racist, you cannot be perceived as racist too. But the important thing is the Indian role. I think it is not only purely economic but also geopolitical considerations.

Business World: What role do you see for India?

Anwar: In this region, India is a strong democracy and a strong economy. I am quite optimistic about it.

Businesss World: But will other Asian countries accept India in a leadership position?

Anwar: No. We don't call it an Indian leadership or Chinese leadership. It is an Asian grouping in which we have China, India, Japan, and Asean. There would be a balance.

Business World: Are you for a common Asian currency?

Anwar: It will take time. I don't subscribe to a purely political prescription for an economic problem. It does not make economic sense now. But ideally, yes.
I am told that China is trying to get the academia in Malaysia to debate accepting yuan as the common currency. Yes, there is some debate. But mostly because many of these academics do what the government asks them to do.

Business World: Is it gaining currency?

Anwar: I don't think so, except with the government academics.

2006年無字天書

首相拿督斯里阿都拉不厭其煩強調，要鏟除貪污腐敗。

政府首席秘書丹斯里西迪講了又講，要加強公共服系統的管理效率，去除流弊。
信誓旦旦，落實卻遙遙無期。

2006年審計報告蔚為奇書，每行每字，無不觸目驚心。由小單位到大部門，動輒浪費數千令吉至上億令吉。

奇書的調查結果，足令兩位大人物難堪。他們的話，都被下面的人當成耳邊風。

神秘色彩極濃的反貪污局，一向話不多，被問起查案進展時，往往有個罪証不足，無計可施的理由。

但看看審計報告，便令人不解，缺乏罪証從何說起？

光是2006年，聯邦政府和各州政府的審計報告，疊起來超過兩尺厚。

歷年來堆積的，有如山高。犯錯的人數，已不再是害群之馬，而是害馬之群。

然而，反貪污局始終眼大不見山。

在審計報告中，總審計司對種種公款被坑及管理失當的行為，給予“不滿意”、“差勁”之評。
心痛錢被濫用

總審計師只能調查，不能執法，所以，他對這種情況痛心疾首。他和你我一樣，都是納稅人，心痛自己的錢被濫用。

兩個大局，一個力求罪証不果，一個手握証據干嘆息，蔚為奇事。難道，它們老死不相往來？
反貪污局和審計局的頭目，有空應當約出來見面，聯絡感情之余，也探討如何結合調查和執法之力肅貪。

不要再隔空喊話，說審計報告出來了，要不要執法悉隨尊便。兩局的大頭吃君之祿，應該分君之憂。

反貪污局一直表明，自己不是虛有其表的稻草人，但奇書年年面世，它卻又按兵不動。
想來想去，只有一個理由：顧全大局。

要是根據報告的調查展開行動，大鱷小魚悉數捉拿，政府行政恐怕癱瘓。

若連往年的報告也開案，乖乖不得了，大馬會陷入無政府狀態，公家機關說不定只捉剩office boy，后果嚴重。 (This Phrase Is Cool)

肅貪，果真行不得也。為了顧全大局，反貪污局把奇書當成無字天書，可能也是逼于無奈。

马来西亚~能

國家審計局公佈對政府部門的2006年審計結果后，民間一片驚愕與痛惜之聲，雖然有些涉及的部門作出回應或澄清，卻越澄越不清，又有些澄清令人覺得滑稽得很，總之就是好幾十億去向不明。

實際上，至少在兩三年前，國家審計局都有公佈針對政府部門的審計結果，結果也大同小異，同樣令人民震驚與痛惜，痛惜我們的血汗錢如此被公務員糟蹋。

每一次，當審計局公佈結果后，人民都聽到一些部長說：“我已要他們呈一分報告給我”、“如證明舞弊，決毫不猶疑對付有關方面”、“我們正深入調查”、“嚴正看待”、“絕不容忍這樣的事”等等義正嚴詞的話。

但說句老實話，至今為止，尚不見任何涉及浪費數以億令吉計的官員或商家給控上法庭，遑論“罪有應得”，這點又說明什么？難道是國家審計局的報告錯了？

人人心裡有數

今年也不例外，除了幾個部門作了越描越黑的辯解外，也聽到幾位高官要求報告書，看來好像要嚴辦，至少也是依法處理，但真的會有人因處事不當、舞弊、吞侵公帑，而受到應有的處置嗎？吸取了過去兩三年的經驗，相信人人心裡有數，有理由相信心中暗笑的居絕大多數，都會在想：又來做戲了。

回想起來，也難怪我們這個物產富饒，又沒有天災人禍的天府之國，至今仍是“發展中國家”，說白了就是依然屬于窮國。原本可用于建設國家，或惠及人民的巨大財源，盡給人浪費或私吞了，因為政府是全國最大的採購者，惟採購的價格，竟然可比市價高上幾倍以至十倍以上，人民的納稅錢都入了極少數人的腰包，我們哪得不窮？而且還窮到“半津貼學校”要自付“超額”電費、華小華文數理課本不列借貸項目！

另一方面，由于經驗告訴貪官污吏，和有特殊背景的各類商家，他們可以放膽浪費公帑，只消一陣紛紛嚷嚷過后，一切又歸諸太平無事。所以國家審計局才會年年作出相同報告，人民的納稅錢依然年年“大出血”，數十億令吉不知去向，如此下去怎么得了？總該有人出來向人民作個交代，認認真真秉公處事，不然的話，明年的審計報告又是大同小異，怎么對得起人民

SAMY'S QUOTABLE QUOTES

Samy Vellu on pos laju :- "BESOK KIRIM, HARI INI SAMPAI" :-)

On TV when in trying to say he was ashamed, he said:`Kemaluan saya besar`

Samy said in a ceremah "Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orong-orong kampong disini", one pakcik asked, "Datuk, sini takde sungai,buat apa bina jambatan?" and Samy glorious replied,"Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!"


Whenever Samy opens his mouth it’s always volume 10. Never see him talk softer.


Samy's favorite quote on national television for the decade is this lah: "Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!" Semasa krisis air: "semua orang diminta jgn membuang aiyerr..!" Tentang masaalah sosial: "..orang2 muda sekarang banyak hisap dada.." Semasa kempen derma darah sg Siput:"..marilah kita semua menderma dara.." Semasa memberi ucapan di pelbagai function: "...selamat datang saudara-mara semua.." (sebenarnya saudara-saudari)

During the height of the al-arqam saga, he said in a press conference, "Saya gembira bahawa didapati tiada pemuda MIC terlibat dalam kes arqam.."


Samy Vellu, you seem to be very popular. Everyone here seem to be taking pot shot of that rat sleeping on your head.


At an opening ceremony:
"mempersilakan datin paduka rafidah aziz naik ke pentas utk membuka kain"
Commenting about his modesty: “sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar"

PLUS = Pungut Lebih Untuk Samy That's why Samy can use PLUS helicopter whenever he want.

Just Funny......

vote in the coming election using your common sense

make sure you view & read all the photos, then vote in the coming election using your common sense.

"If you cannot fight rape, better lay down and enjoy it." - Haji Roselan Johar Mohamed (Kota Kinabalu Umno pro tem head, Barisan Nasional)

"Soak it (the keris) with Malaysian Chinese blood"- Najib Razak (Deputy Prime Minister, Barisan Nasional)

"Malays will kill Chinese, Chinese will kill Malays, Indians will kill everybody else."- Tengku Adnan (Tourism Minister, Barisan Nasional)

"Burn down the Selangor Chinese Assembly Hall" - Abdul Aziz (UMNO Youth, Barisan Nasional)

REGISTER AS A VOTER NOW!

Malaysian Maths

Malaysian Mathematician - too funny:

I find it most alarming that Malaysian schools teach our children the wrong things. I mean: can the children really apply what they are taught in school later in life? For example, can you imagine a mathematics question in a recent examination as follows? "If an egg costs fifty Sen, and if you buy one-eighth of the egg, how much would you have to pay?" Who in heaven's name will want to buy one-eighth of an egg? The shopkeeper will probably think you are crazy and he will be equally stupid to break the egg and measure one-eighth for you.
Yet, this is how they structure the questions in Malaysian schools. Why not pose questions that would be more useful later in life when you go out into the world to earn your living? To help Malaysia 's Ministry of Education to better face the realities of life, we are suggesting some questions they could use in our classrooms


QUESTION 1 If you drive from Kuala Lumpur to Penang along the PLUS Highway and there are four speed traps along the way, and if each speed trap would cost you RM300.00 in fines, how much in fines would you accumulate by the time you reach Penang ?

ANSWER (Choose one)
1. I would not suffer any fines as the oncoming cars would flash their headlights and I would slow down before coming to the speed trap.
2. I would only need to pay a total of RM80.00 as I would pay a RM20.00 bribe at each speed trap.
3. I would not be stopped as I am an UMNO Wakil Rakyat so I am exempted from speed traps.


QUESTION 2 If your Bumiputera company is awarded a RM150 million government contract, and you make a 20% profit, how much profit would be at the end of the contract period?

ANSWER (Choose one)
1. I will not be making a 20% profit as I would have to pay the Minister 10% and UMNO 5%.
2. I would make 30% profit, which is the progress payment I receive, after which I will abandon the project and let the government call for re-tender.
3. My company will not make any profit at all as I will siphon out all the profits and show a loss to avoid paying corporate tax.


QUESTION 3 If the ruling party obtained 54% of the popular votes the last election and won 151 or 80% of the seats, and if it saw an increase of 10% in votes this election, how many more seats would it gain?

ANSWER (Choose one)
1. The ruling party will not show a 10% increase in votes, as it will stuff the ballot box with another 20% to give it a 30% vote increase.
2. The ruling party will win which are the newly created seats in the delineation exercise recently done.
3. The ruling party has already decided it will win 90% of the seats and the votes have nothing to do with it.


QUESTION 4 If the national petroleum company, Petronas, pays a 5% royalty to Terengganu State and if the amount paid is RM800,000,000 per year, how much should Petronas have in the bank accumulated over the last 25 years?

ANSWER (Choose one)
1. Nobody is supposed to know as Petronas need not show its accounts to anyone except the Prime Minister and this information comes under the Official Secrets Act.
2. Petronas earns only 50% of its petroleum revenue from Terengganu so Petronas' total income accumulated in the banks over 25 years should be RM800 billion.
3. Petronas has nothing accumulated in the bank as all the money has spent bailing out companies and finance mega projects.


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GLOBAL CULTURE IN THE WORLD

马来西亚要达到宏愿2020，所有人民就须先有开放的思想！封闭及极端的人，往往只限制于封闭的框框；如何进步？

马来西亚人民要求不高，只求公平，公平；过分吗？

要别人尊重你，你就需先尊重别人；要别人接受你的文化，你也需接受别人的文化！

这简单的道理，都懂吧？但还是有人不愿懂！