1 Malaysia

An Indian, a Chinese and a Malay were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all of them died before they arrived.


Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the Chinese, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present, asked him what happened.

"Well," said the Chinese, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Indian and the Malay and I were standing at the gates of heaven. An Angel approached us and said that we were too young to die, and that for a donation of RM 500, we could return to earth. So, of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the RM 500 and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors. "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them" replied the Chinese, "the Indian was bargaining over the price, and the Malay was waiting for the government to pay for his."

The objective of STPM is to pass people?

How do you explain the fact that 87% of the students passed the exams of the Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia (STPM) recently, when during your father's time only 10%would have passed?

Are students getting smarter? Or are STPM questions getting easier?

Let me put things in their proper perspective.

During your grandfather's time, they would ask exam questions like:
"In what year did Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka ?"
The correct answer was "1402", and they found that only 10% of the students managed to answer the question correctly. This didn't go down too well with the authorities, because the objective of the exams was to pass people.

I mean, what's the point of having exams if people fail?

So later, they found another way to ask the same question:
"Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year:
(a) 2001
(b) 2004
(c) 1986
(d) 1975
(e) 1402
Tick the correct answer."

The results were better in that 20% of the students passed. But it was still not good enough, so the authorities tried a different tactic a few years later.

"Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year 1402.. True or false?"

Well, half of the students guessed "True" and the other half guessed "False".

Fully 50% passed.

The results were getting pretty acceptable by now but still not good enough.

Most other countries would be satisfied with a 50% passing rate, but not us.

We are a better country, because we are a boleh country. The authorities
then cracked their heads and then came out with this one:

Read the following sentence carefully.
"Parameswara, the cousin of Proton-Iswara, founded the kingdom of Melaka
in the year 1402. Underline the name of the person who founded Melaka."

60% underlined "Parameswara", 30% underlined "Proton-Iswara" and 10% underlined "1402".

Yeah!!!!....60% managed to pass! So krever!

But for some reason, the authorities were still not contented. So last year, they came out with this gem:

"One day in the year 1402, Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka .
Then he went home to have dinner. What did he eat?"

13% (smart students) handed in blank answers, 57% wrote "Maggi Mee", 10% wrote " Kentucky Fried Chicken" and 20% wrote "Nasi Lemak".

The correct answer was anything concerning "Food" of course!

After the marking was over, it was found that 87% of the students had passed.

87%!!!!!............now that's pretty impressive!

So it's true.

So now the authorities are very happy that the students are indeed getting smarter?

Well done Boleh-land!

Perhaps, this is why we have a host of students with an impressive
string of 'As' who can hardly construct a decent sentence!

Neow mind, our super-duper gomen can find a job for us one.

Duh……

Singapore Culture :p

This is funny.....

An European tourist was visiting a temple in Singapore when he noticed a statue, with two faces, a man and a woman, back to back, by the altar.

He asked the monk what was the significance of the two.

The monk explained that in the Chinese belief of yin and yang, positives must always be balanced by negatives, and having the statue with two sides ensures that the universal balance is maintained.

"This statue of the woman is the Goddess of Mercy, Kuan-Yin."

"What about the other one?" asked the tourist.

"The one with the man’s face is the God of No Mercy, Kuan-Yew."

Ah Beng from Malaysia

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, 'My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.

Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'. He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning?

Ah Beng replied: Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

The Truth of Teoh Beng Hock Death

1. Why did MACC not inform Teoh's family immediately when the body was found at 1.30pm on the 16th July?
Teoh has his wallet with him and he could be identified easily. Why did MACC not informed his family immediately which is the normal practice.

2. When did Teoh news break out?
Teoh death was not known until 6pm. What happened between 1.30pm and 6pm at the MACC?

3. When was Teoh release? Or was he ever released?
MACC claimed that Teoh was released at 3.45am on the 16th July. However the fact that MACC still kept his handphone shows that he was never released and was in custody until he was found dead.

4. Did Teoh ever left the MACC Building?
No, he didn't. The CCV recording at the entrance only shows him entering the MACC but there was no recording that he left MACC.

5. Was Teoh a witness or suspect?
MACC claimed Teoh was a witness after he is dead. However they refused to allow a lawyer to accompany Teoh during the interrogation and claimed they have the right to question him for 24 hours without allowing anyone to see him - this clearly shows that Teoh was arrested as a suspect.

6. When was Teoh last seen in MACC building?
He was last seen at 6am in the pantry.

7. When is the time of death of Teoh Beng Hock?
According to the autopsy report, Teoh Beng Hock was dead at around 8 - 9am

8. Why is the MACC door kept closed at 1.35pm?
Malaysiakini reporter Rahmah Ghazali, found out that the MACC door was closed at between 1.25pm and 1.40pm. It was reopen at 1.50pm. Why is it so? MACC should be operating on a 24 hour basis and therefore the door shouldn't be closed. "Coincidently", Teoh's body was found at 1.30pm. What is MACC doing behind closed door?

9. Why is Teoh's body not removed until 9.15pm?
Nobody is allowed to have a glimpse at the body and Teoh's body was not removed until 915pm. Why does it take so long to remove the body? Are they trying to hide something?

10. Why is MACC lying about Teoh's handphone?
MACC claimed that all belongings have been returned to Teoh when he was "released" at 3.45am. However the police confirmed that they got Teoh's Handphone from MACC. Why is MACC lying? It is obvious that Teoh's handphone contains important information.

11. Why is the police classifying Teoh's death as a sudden death but not murder?
The questions that the police pose to Teoh families shows that the police already presume that Teoh committed suicide and tries to mislead the family. The police is clearly protecting "someone".

Timeline of the incident
15th July 5.00pm Teoh Beng Hock was brought to MACC hq
16th July 3.45am MACC claimed Teoh was released(cctv shows he never left the building)
6.00am Teoh was last seen in the pantry
8.00am Teoh was dead
1.25pm MACC front door was suspiciously closed
1.30pm Teoh Body was found lying at the fifth floor balcony
6.00pm News about Teoh dead was made to known publicly
9.15pm Teoh's body was removed

選狼還是選獅子

朋友,
这是一篇很引人深思的文章..
你读后,领悟到了什么?

当今的执政者读了, 又有何想呢?

你选择了狮还是狼呢?

美國最暢銷書 - 選狼還是獅子?

不管是經營企業或人際關係，本篇文章都能發人深省。

美國最暢銷書-選狼還是選獅子?

上帝把兩群羊放在草原上，一群在南，一群在北。
上帝還給羊群找了兩種天敵，一種是獅子，一種是狼。

上帝對羊群說：「如果你們要狼，就給一隻，任它隨意咬你們。

如果你們要獅子，就給兩頭，你們可以在兩頭獅子中任選一頭，還可以隨時更換。」

這道題的問題就是：如果你也在羊群中，你是選狼還是選獅子？很容易做出選擇吧？

好吧!
記住你的選擇，接著往下看。

南邊羊想，獅子比狼兇猛得多，還是要狼吧!
於是,它們就要了一隻狼。

北邊羊想，獅子雖然比狼兇猛得多，但我們有選擇權，還是要獅子吧!

於是，它們就要了兩頭獅子。

狼進了南邊羊群後，就開始吃羊。狼身體小，食量也小，一隻羊夠它吃幾天了。

這樣羊群幾天才被追殺一次。

北邊羊挑選了一頭獅子，另一頭則留在上帝那裡。

這頭獅子進入羊群後，也開始吃羊。獅子不但比狼兇猛，而且食量驚人，每天都要吃一隻羊。

這樣羊群就天天都要被追殺，驚恐萬狀，羊群趕緊請上帝換一頭獅子。

不料，上帝保管的那頭獅子一直沒有吃東西，飢餓難耐，撲進羊群，比前面那頭獅子咬得更瘋狂。

羊群一天到晚只是逃命，連草都快吃不成了。

南邊羊群慶幸自己選對了天敵，又嘲笑北邊的羊群沒有眼光。

北邊羊群非常後悔，向上帝大倒苦水，要求更換天敵，改要一隻狼。

上帝說：「天敵一旦確定，就不能更改，必須世代相隨，你們唯一的權利是在兩頭獅子中選擇。」

北邊羊群只好把兩頭獅子不斷更換。可兩頭獅子同樣凶殘，換哪一頭都比南邊羊群悲慘得多，它們索性不換了，讓一頭獅子吃得膘肥體壯，另一頭獅子則餓得精瘦。
眼看那頭瘦獅子快要餓死了，羊群才請上帝換一頭。

這頭瘦獅子經過長時間的飢餓後，慢慢悟出了一個道理：自己雖然兇猛異常，一百隻羊都不是對手，可是自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的。羊群隨時可以把自己送回上帝那裡，讓自己飽受飢餓的煎熬，甚至有可能餓死。

想通這個道理後，瘦獅子就對羊群特別客氣，只吃死羊和病羊，凡是健康的羊它都不吃了。

羊群喜出望外，有幾隻小羊提議乾脆固定要瘦獅子，不要那頭肥獅子了。
一隻老公羊提醒說：「瘦獅子是怕我們送它回上帝那裡挨餓，才對我們這麼好。萬一肥獅子餓死了，我們沒有了選擇的餘地，瘦獅子很快就會恢復凶殘的本性。」

羊群覺得老羊說得有理，為了不讓另一頭獅子餓死，它們趕緊把它換回來。

原先肥壯的那頭獅子，已餓得剩下皮包骨頭了，並且也懂得了自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的道理。為了能活命，它竟百般討好起羊群來。而那頭被送交給上帝的獅子，則難過得流下了眼淚。

北邊羊群在經歷了重重磨難後，終於過上了自由自在的生活。

南邊羊的處境卻越來越悲慘了，那隻狼因為沒有競爭對手，羊群又無法更換它，它就胡作非為，每天都要咬死幾十隻羊，這隻狼早已不吃羊肉了，它只喝羊的血,還不准羊叫，那隻叫就立刻咬死那隻。南邊的羊群只能在心中哀歎：「早知道這樣，還不如要兩頭獅子。」

這是一道非常簡單的選擇題，據我多次親自嘗試的經驗，如果問歐美的朋友，大多數人都會選獅子，但是如果拿來問我們自己華人，大多數人都會選狼（包括我自己）。

領悟到了嗎？
握有決定權的才有生機，否則只有任人宰割的份兒了...！

(網路信件)

只有交替的政权, 才能还政於民!

《华人笨蛋！》

转载欧阳文风的文章，
《华人笨蛋！》

我已经很久没有这么生气了。

早上在纽约读到赵明福死的新闻，还有反贪污委员会的反应，加上政府高官如纳兹里的言论，我对我的国家彻底失望！接下来，再在〈独立新闻在线〉读到陈文华揭露如何被反贪委员会盘问，调查官员极尽恐吓威胁之能事；如此对待一名市议员，甚至比犯人也不如，这个国家是极权的共产主义国度吗？

更糟糕的竟然还是调查官员不允许陈文华坐着「协助调查」（这是好听说词，哪有人如此对待协助者），还指着他的眉心，开口大骂他「CINA BODOH!」。

一名市议员被调查官员以如此种族主义的字眼谩骂，如果这个官员不被对付，你以为这个国家可能对一般华人平民有多好？

基宫案无声无息，反贪委员却忙着调查欧阳捍华、刘永山、郭素沁、黄洁冰、杨巧双、谢永贤、李宝霖，对了，还有赵明福。这些人不是不能调查，但更明目张胆的基宫案到底是怎么一回事？一名牙医到底有甚么本事兴建壮观如皇宫般的住家，一扇门就可以等于一幢单层排屋的价格，钱从哪里来？明显的问题不查，却敲锣打豉查几个年轻的民联议员，这是甚么意思？

反贪污委员会到底是反民联，还是反贪污？

更甚的是，竟然骂陈文华「华人笨蛋」？！反贪委员会这是一个怎么病态的组织？！

不过，或许他骂得对，或许华人真的是笨蛋！否则，怎么可能默默忍受这种侮辱？

华人真的可能是笨蛋，明知贪官那么多，明知马华民政当家不当权，还有华人支持马华民政，还有华人投票支持国阵。

华人真的很有可能是笨蛋，种族主主义横行，马华民政到底做了甚么？有官员骂华人市议员是笨蛋，马华民政的声音在哪里？可我们的华社会还有人笨到以为马华民政是我们的希望。这种华人不够笨吗？

华人真的非常有可能是笨蛋，安华当年的黑眼圈，马哈迪说他是自己打自己，真的有人相信，一大把一大把的选票就这样给了当年的马哈迪和国阵，根本不理马哈迪是怎么以种种恶法治国。许多华裔优秀学生进不了大学，拿不到外国深造奖学金，马来人却没有这种问题。这是种族主义，还不够明显吗？笨蛋！

可是面对种种不公平的政策，动不动国阵还有人拿出５１３来吓选民，可还有华人还是支持国阵，这些华人不是笨蛋又是甚么？

华人是笨蛋？！

真的，我越来越怀疑马来西亚有许许多多的华人是笨蛋。懦弱、无知、贪生怕死、欺善怕恶、别人施舍一点甜头，就晕头转向，只想赚钱，只想发财，有奶就是娘，这种人不是蠢才笨蛋又是甚么？

醒醒吧！如果这时候还不醒，还不辨是非，还不反抗，真是彻头彻尾的经典超级大笨蛋!!!!!